God How do I forgive?

Monday December 29th, 2014  

Congrats to all the college/professional students on successfully finishing this past fall semester.  Through the stress you got through it, and if you love the Lord as much as I do, you know it was ONLY by the grace of God!  :)
If you have been following my blog and read the last 5 posts you are aware the Lord gave me ten topics he wanted me to write on, so far I have written 5 of those topics. I wanted to write the other 5 but then I lost the journal where I had listed them out and here we are 2 more days till the new year and I am now getting a deep impression of the heart(how God speaks to me) to write a blog. This blog isn't going to be the 6th topic the Lord had given me two months ago which may come out before 2015, who knows, but today I am going to talk about forgiveness. That pill we all NEED to take.

Are you still upset about that guy that you had made a husband in your heart, although he never told you he was, but then he did you wrong?
OR
That guy who did say he was your husband and he loved you, then he either cheats on you, or violates you, or goes running off and leaves you out of no where?
OR
A family member, close family friend or a co-worker hurt you whether it was today, yesterday, or 10 years ago?
If you've answered YES to any of the questions above then this blog is for you!
I remember just 2 months ago, I had just finished texting one of my best friends and she was telling me I just couldn't cut a guy off and not pray for him if he was struggling. It didn't help that text came right before I had to enter church that Sunday! :/
    What had happen was there was this one guy that had pursued me in my head, before he had ever thought to pursue me for real, and he was now attending my church. Can you imagine that ex you never want to see again, now you see every week?! lol well that was the scenario. To my surprise I see him in church the first week and I am like ok I def don't care, then the second week came around and feelings of sadness, anger, confusion arise and I am just like REALLY?! I thought I had forgiven this guy and moved on..so I tell my friend how I am feeling and that's where her advice came from. Forgive for real, don't cut him off, keep him at a distance and pray for him. [end of story]
What happens when we don't forgive someone for real.. is it
  • eats at YOU,
  • takes away your precious time worrying and hurting about a person who has LONG moved on from the issue.
What happened to me and the guy above was I had just rolled my feelings of him off, blocked him off of social media, did a 2.5 second prayer and thought I had forgiven him, well that was WRONG. I hadn't truly forgiven him, I had put a corner of a fire blanket to put out the fire on my scorned heart rather than put the entire fire blanket over the fire and just forgive all  together! But JANET, "how do I go about forgiving then?" Well here is how the Lord tells us to do it, and when you do, not only will you feel better, but you will feel lighter by not allowing someone else to stir your life and emotions except God:

1. Make up your mind to forgive. You've heard this before, the first step to doing anything is to say YES to the change. You have to mentally and physically tell yourself you want to move on from this issue and be at peace with yourself and with the person. Take the step today, its a gift to yourself.

2. God won't forgive you unless you forgive the person. If we look to God as our ultimate father, the best husband and guide to the best life, to not have him forgive us when we fall short will not put us on his good side and that's always where we want to be. We need to accept this and we must forgive so God can also forgive us.
 
3. Pray for that person. Let everything, EVERY last hurt and pain of that person, from the smallest matter to the biggest of hurts known to God. What prayer does, by speaking it out to God not only in your heart, allows you to let go of the load you have been carrying no matter how long you've kept it. Prayer is the secret to forgiveness. It allows God to overtake you with such a peace!

So, I did all three of these and I can say I have forgiven that brother. Knowing he won't be the last to hurt me is also something I have come to understand. As humans we will hurt each other, I know that this wont be the last time I will have to forgive! I am sure this goes for you too!

As you've finally let go of that hurt by forgiving the person who has hurt you, I would like to ask have you forgiven yourself? I am not sure what you are carrying within yourself that is slowing you down or causing you to not love yourself. Maybe somesort of sin, or self pity as overtaken your life. You may find yourself drinking and getting drunk, sleeping with multiple men, watching violent acts of pornography, cheating on your husband, lying, and stealing etc. I remember feeling like I couldn't forgive myself at one point in my days of deep sin ,two years ago but someone came to give you and me that power to forgive even ourselves! His name is Jesus. He came to give you a life where you can love yourself and your life again! All you have to do is tell God the sins you've been battling with, and accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior to cleanse away your old life and give you a brand new one.
There is no use in forgiving others and forgetting yourself. Your soul deserves ultimate rest and peace as well!

2 Corinthians 5:17


Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.



Be Free, you've been made whole! I love you and I am praying for you!



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From your Sister in Christ ,


Greek Life and the Christian Life

Tuesday November 25th, 2014 


I started a series of 10 things the Lord laid on my heart to write on, and this topic being number 5. Despite the stance on politics and  popular culture, the ways of God and the Word of God stands supreme. To be a Christian is to follow the ways of God... and to follow Him is to believe in Him undeniably...and in doing that you receive blessings according to your obedience and faith and finally in turn you are rewarded by ruling with Him in Heaven.

As a true believer in Christ you must follow Christ undeniably and truly make him your all. Christians have a right in Christ that He will open all the doors needed to succeed in life, because his blessings are not from man who can take it away, but from Him which last forever. (Proverbs 10:22) Greek life is not for the Christian.  Jesus does not condone social fraternity or sororities, contrary to popular believe it does not help you move up in life if you truly believe Jesus is your provider and source of all things, He is all you need to move up in life.

So you ask should Christians join a fraternity or sororities, especially if one has eyes set on heaven, the simple answer is NO.

In considering the definition, motive, induction, history and heart behind social fraternities and sororities in and out of academic institutions, they do not line up with the Words of the bible and the heart of Christ. We will also look into Christians who have taken the frame work of secular social Greek organization and stated because "hazing" now is memorizing scripture, it's different. Christians looking for a place to fellowship and create sisterhood and brotherhood was first mentioned in  Matthew 16, the "church"..so I think God's way is sufficient enough.

Before going into the background of Greek Organization, those in one and those considering, the first question we ask ourselves is why do we want to join one?

I remember my journey in wanting to join a National Pan Hellenic Council (divine nine) black Greek sorority back at  my old university. They looked like the prettiest, most successful girls on campus. Their history and founders were some of the top woman in the professional sphere, worldwide. I loved their colors, and I felt like I bonded with the already inducted members running the chapter on campus. But, I remember one night during the last week before the semester's Rush(A meeting where interested members go to hand in their application to join the org.), I had brought drinks to an invite only girls late night chit-chat with existing members. It started out  with casual conversations but soon after, was the typical girl talk happening of gossip and name calling. What became worse was the members were just talking about other members within their chapter and other outside chapters or their organizations. I am sure because I wasn't totally sold out to God I joined in, although I do remember being cordial as I was trying to impress them. But talk about sisterhood, every family fights but to pay into a network of such brokenness to feel accepted and pretty, which the Lord according to my belief, did for FREE on the cross, doesn't really make sense.




I share that story because you have to ask why you want to join one of these organizations. What is your motive? Is it for man's opinions or the Lord's opinion. Let's see what this verse says:

1 Samuel 16:7
 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
Your motive matters to the Lord. Especially to join social Greek organizations a lot of us back then, and I am sure many will do this the future, was to fluff up and make the Rush application more impressive. One may put they would like to join to give back to the world or gain leadership experiences, which are all great but in a Greek life context on a college campus that can get lost. As mentioned above my own motives were shallow and dealt with the appearance of the organization because many Greek orgs. do put a lot on the physical and the bible warns of us this.
Romans 12:16
Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.


1 Peter 5:5-7
In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,

“God opposes the proud
    but shows favor to the humble.”
 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
The Bible repeatedly encourages humility both in life and in the choice of one's companions. I understand college is a place with many other clubs as well promote instilling leadership qualities in all it's students. But there is a certain arrogance that can come from Greek organizations, which  we need to be careful of, even if its not necessarily you yourself as someone that's not humble, but the culture of Greek life is one of rivalry on the surface.  
The culture of Greek Life also promotes a life that isn't consistent with the bible, such as partying, binge drinking and the likes. As believers we are to leave our old life and to not be of this world although we are in it. I have been told by people who have now been saved by the Lord, they stay in the organizations to maybe share the gospel with their members, well if the Lord is leading you in that direction go with the leading; but to go to events where the spirit of God is not present, is not wise and that we need to careful with.
1 Peter 4:3 (NLT)
You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy—their immorality and lust, their feasting and drunkenness and wild parties, and their terrible worship of idols.

 I know in college the loneliness factor is real. I have felt it, especially if you are dorming and that's when sin can really creep up. So companionship is something we really crave. We need to channel these cravings to seeking people that truly want to glorify God and hearts that reflect the mind of Christ. Although I am going to briefly talk about the idol history of Greek organizations below, many Greek organizations want you to view their members as blood brothers and sisters, even closer than your family. Some organizations go as far as branding with an hot iron (practices that were suppose to be cancelled but aren't), and even exchanging blood by fingers.

The reality for believers in Christ is that our closest relationships must be authentic Christ worshippers and followers, not Greek life members. I know the argument is social Greek orgs are so big, and many orgs span across many states and countries so one can fall into a click of Christians apart from the organization as an all, which is fine, but these organizations promote sisterhood and one person's personality is consistent and can be the face with the  personality of the entire organization.
Galatians 3:28
There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 


1 Corinthians 12:24-26
while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.






Lastly, Greek life is deeply rooted in idolatry and the bible specifically warns us about delving into associations like that.

Deuteronomy 13:6-8
If your very own brother, or your son or daughter, or the wife you love, or your closest friend secretly entices you, saying, “Let us go and worship other gods” (gods that neither you nor your ancestors have known, gods of the peoples around you, whether near or far, from one end of the land to the other), do not yield to them or listen to them. Show them no pity. Do not spare them or shield them.


It's been stated that Greek life can be a  mystery religion. In a nutshell, these organizations are occult societies because they are secret, exclusive organizations open only to the initiated, hazed, and or pleaded into which still till this day can be very dangerous.


Occult: That which is done in secret; disclosed or communicated only to the initiated;
hidden from view; of or pertaining to magic, astrology, or any system claiming use
or knowledge of secret or supernatural powers or agencies.

Christ does nothing in secret and He says that all things which are hidden shall be brought to the light. Neither is Christianity exclusive, but is open to all who will place faith in Jesus.  Consider this as well. What does it mean to be initiated? An initiation is the ceremonies or rituals of admission. A ritual is an established or prescribed procedure for a religious and spiritual rite. These types of acts done in three letters, or two letters organizations are really forbidden and insulting to the Lord. It basically blocks your blessings.

Christians that have formed social fraternities and sororities and tacked on the name of Jesus to it, should not get the argument that everything on earth must be bought back by the Lord. Greek life was never ordained by the Lord, and is a form of idolatry and that needs to be cleared up once and for all.

I love that in this generation, social media  and the internet can help solve at least one thing by showing us many successful people that Have not joined any Greek organizations to get where they are, like Dr. Ben Carson for starters! Google him.

 I loved when I asked my mentor why she didn't join any, because I consider her successful as a Ph.D candidate, wife, mother, and a Child of God; and she simply stated she just didn't feel she needed to. I totally understood and got it, and I agreed, with  Christ as your guide you don't need anyone but Him directing and giving you that support and network you need. Not discrediting a spouse now..lol, but you get it.

No org should be your identity and that is what Greek organizations tend to do with all the gear, and all that. Nothing, and no one including the college or university we go to  should be our idol.. What's really worth dying for on this earth, when eventually we will all pass on anyway. We can't hold anything on earth too tightly , but something we must want to think about, strive for, sow money into, time, and souls for is our eternal life. Have you thought about your eternal life? I myself was raised to understand that eternity was real, but never really understood it until actually this date two years ago. I knew that my actions mattered and would be weighed upon my death by a one true God, and that there is a higher being that can shower you with wisdom to help enrich your life, and there is a devil that can shatter and waste your life by following him. I want to give you an invite to gain wisdom and give your life to a God that won't stir you wrong. That will challenge you to live a life with purpose, that will fill your loneliness to not have to pay a large amount of money, or be ridiculed to join an organization that's deeply seeded in unrighteousness, a God that will take away the sins that boggle you down , like porn, sex, stealing, lying, jealousy, and evil speaking, a God that will love you unconditionally  in your time of weakness, I want to invite you to say YES to Jesus.  I said yes to him two years ago and it was the BEST decision I ever made. Every milestone since then has been of HIS doing, no Greek Org needed, and I have peace and his Blessings add no sorrow!!



Princeton's Sexuality, Integrity and the University conference.



Thank you for reading. As always I am praying for everyone of you. If you have anything to add, on Greek life and the Christian Life, leave a comment below. If you would like to ask me any personal questions, you can private message me on any of my social medias or email me at janet.songonuga@gmail.com. God Bless you!



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From your Sister in Christ ,


 


God won't fail you

Saturday October 4th, 2014




What a busy September. Many of us resumed school, or are getting into the swing of fall with work. On my front the Lord has been good in just continuing to grace me in the many roles I play as a sister, student, babysitter/nanny & friend, and give me strength day to Day to live intentionally for Him and not for this world.

Not gratifying our flesh can be so hard, but with Christ, He says learn from Him, take on His yoke for it is light, and makes living in the spirit and not the flesh so easy!(Matthew 11)

So, topic number four the Lord laid on my heart to write on, is how trusting God won't fail you!  For some of you reading this you may be like, "Janet, God's already failed me, nothing's happening like I had planned", for others you are like "Janet yes God is good all the time"...but deep in your heart you don't really trust that statement. Yes, we can't see God physically(although His creations are all around us), and life because it's not perfect definitely has it's ups and downs, but we still MUST believe the scriptures when it says God never changes and because we have read some of the most hard hit humans in the bible, we too can weather the storms of this life!

There are so many areas that when you let Go, and truly believe and trust in the Lord, that He will truly come through. The secret formula, well there really isn't one...its just having faith, and lots of it!

Relationships

Sometimes, I hear other people's love stories and I think to myself, "Wow, I thank God, God brought them together," but then I wonder and think, I don't want my love story to be like that..what took the guy so long to pursue the woman and commit to knowing she was the one, and or why did the woman take such slack from the man!? I would then start thinking of all these semi negative things and wonder will my story be different, will God come through for me in my desire to serve Him, and to have a man of God have such a conviction to intentionally pursue me..

The bible encourages us to think these thoughts in our state of self doubts towards God:


James 1:6

But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.

Mark 11:23

For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.

Even without us praying, God knows our desires! We shouldn't doubt that He will help us and that He won't bless us, because He will indeed! The more doubt we have in our hearts the less faith we'll have in believing God is NOT a God that will fail us.
Academics
I was just reading in one of the books my uncle wrote, the success story of his one and only wife, my aunt.  He shared my Aunt, his wife, had come to the United States at 21 and had to start college all over again. Long story short she moved to the U.S. enrolled in a community college, went on to earn a four year degree,  and finally an M.D. and an M.P.H, AND in the midst of it all got married and had their first son. Can you say GOD!!!!! An amazing story of perseverance, determination, faith, and truly pressing into the strength of the Lord in knowing He surly won't fail you. You, the reader may be thinking your academic pursuit is so bleak, because the bible says those that don't work won't eat, but slow and steady wins the race. It's not how you start but its truly how you finish and beloved you will finish your academic path with God on your side in Jesus name! Having faith that this season will be completed will ensure that God won't fail you. 

Family

I was just reflecting on the stories of different families and the old adage "no family is perfect", that all families have some type of imperfection. In listening to one pastor he mentioned the issues he had with his father growing up, and how they were now spilling into his marriage. He stated ,he didn't get alot of affirmation from his father so he would feel less than, around others, even those that would affirm him and assure him he was loved. This is just one of the many types of stories one may hear when it comes to issues within a family, especially a relationship with a father and a daughter. The promise of those who serve the Lord is that these problems within the family, no matter if its physical, mental, or emotional God can give us a way out and miraculously repair what once was broken within a home and fully restore it! What's needed is Faith, no matter the grim outlook or the amount of years, faith is what gives you the end result that God is  not and never will be a failing God!! I have heard and even in my case ,stories of how God has truly blessed families in solving all their issues. The same God that worked for them will work for you!


Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
FAITH:
Forsaking
All;
I
Take
Him


Faith, is what you truly need to have God in your corner and to believe God is ever present to be your Helper. However, to have God as your helper, do you know Jesus at all? Can you call on His name and He'll answer you and say well done? Or do you go to church sometimes, you like what you hear but everything's said and gone as soon as you hit the door? Knowing the Lord, for REAL, ensures us that God is truly interceding on our   behalf, and the option of failing in situations that are in God's will, will NOT be thought of. All you have to do is forsake and repent of the acts that make you feel guilty, dirty, and cause so much pain. That lying, stealing, multiple abortions, oral and vaginal sex pre-marriage, drinking, snorting and smoking drugs, cheating on your spouse, watching that Porn, forsake it all, tell it all to Jesus and let HIM bear your sins, worries and fears of this life. Then accepting Yahwah(Jesus) as your Lord and savior and your past is totally wiped clean, and in following His ways, and believing in your heart Jesus is Christ,you will live a victories life!


2 Corinthians 5:17

 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

WELCOME TO THE KINGDOM! For your destination is now geared towards making heaven! 
Check out this page for next steps: I want to know Jesus

This video also shows a remarkable work of God. Surly repeat and tell yourself God Never fails, GOD Never fails. GOD NEVER FAILS!!!


Together Again-Video(Click to watch)


(At my Governor's Birthday Party)

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May the Peace and Joy of the Lord dwell in you richly

From your Sister in Christ,