A LOST VIRTUE

Thursday July 10, 2014

The content in this blog will change your life. It changed mine. Read with an open heart.

I was once that girl. That stuffed those pair of short shorts deep in her bag, walked out the house in an ok modest outfit, knowing quite well as soon as she was at a distance, she would find a way, to put on those way too short shorts. To experience what she felt was temporary,liberating freedom. For me they exemplified my already full thighs and behind at just the age of 13.

Ok so, I only remember doing that one time. Still, it wasn't ok. Quite frankly it was wrong of me to do.
Often times I was bold about my immodest outfits. Wearing shirts that were too low and if peoples eyes directed themselves to my chest, what could I say? It was out there for them to see. So I couldn't say anything. I would wear pants that were way too tight or too short that my entire lower extremities were outlined with nothing left to even imagine. My body, to put it plainly in the clothes I wore, was all out there.

This blog is on modesty, a very lost virtue. It's not on the modesty you may know or have read. It will give you incite on if we HAVE to wear clothes, what types of clothes God truly wants us to wear  and appearance he wants us to keep. Modest apparel not only honors God, but  shows honor to ourselves so in turn others can respect us.

Proverbs 3:15

She is more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her.

If no one has ever told you, You are a treasure. A treasure that's more precious than rubies. A treasure of any worth or value is kept hidden and covered.  That's how precious you are in the sight of the Lord as a daughter of His. God values his treasures, and therefore He wants to cover us, keep us hidden, and protect what He has made.   

"Why does what we wear really matter? It's all about the heart with Christ Janet", you may ask. 

Well think about it.You have to dress everyday and the first few seconds someone new, or someone you've known approaches you.. naturally, they will judge you based on what you are wearing. We even have different sets of clothing for different venues and occasions. So why is it any different when it comes to God? God cares about it all. If he cares about what you eat or drink, he is definitely concerned about what we wear...

1 Corinthians 10

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.

The Lord started working on my dressing and appearance very early on in my walk with Him. It was actually within a week of becoming Born Again and surrendering my all to Jesus Christ, I had thrown out all of my pants, most of my makeup(giving this up took a little longer), low tops, and jewelry. Yes, even when I write about it and tell people, I still think this was a little extreme; But I was just listening to God speaking to me through the Holy Spirit and that's why I did it.

A HUGE sin I struggled with before coming into Christ was sexual immorality. Making my boyfriends gods, not obeying Gods words on premarital sex and more. God revealed to me, a huge part of this struggle was how I dressed. I had no problem getting men of all ages to come up to me, because my body sold itself. The tights, jeans, pants that showed every curve from my butt, to my thighs and down, were all, many men needed to be enticed to ask for my number. I remember I would walk home from cheerleading practice in high school, with short tight cheerleading shorts on major streets, and just like you see in movies, men would honk, and some would stop. I am not sharing this story to boost, because to me its not boosting. The men that were coming up to me were no where near Gods standards. Their flesh lead them to pursue me, their flesh is what they wanted to please. You could tell it in their eyes and in their speech all they truely wanted was sex and it didn't matter what age I was.   Due to the worlds way of things, many females are flattered by these types of compliments when its consistent and often times will give into these men, I was no different. I choose to wear what I wore. This is the case for many of us females when it comes to immodest apparel, we choose to wear it not wanting to think of the downsides to it. 
So I become born again.
God then strips the appetite for sexual immorality from me and revels for me to continue in sexual purity and freedom in Him, I needed to change my wardrobe. I needed to put on what he prescribes for everyone of His precious daughters in 

1 Timothy 2:9

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness

I had to stop wearing booty shorts, low cut tops, skin tight maxi dresses, immodest pants, tights, jeans that seemed to always rip anyway, see through apparel and everything that I knew couldn't point anyone to Jesus. I got the strong conviction to go back to what God prescribed us woman to wear originally, beautiful skirts and dresses(Deuteronomy 22:5) Look up history and see what women were wearing just 50 years ago, not that long at all. I then had to learn how to dress in this new fashion. So I prayed earnestly that the Lord would help me dress to please Him. That God would help keep my body hidden for His eyes only and for my future husbands eyes only. For God to not allow men that didn't deserve any part of me to come up to me. God heard my prayers and lead my now best friend into my life to encourage and teach me. She just happens to have a blog entitled modestic-elegance, all about modesty, which she has maintained for years now!( Love you Charity) Everywhere I go, people can tell I am different and peculiar. People come up to me and say you are the only female I have seen dress this way, that carefully covers her nakedness. People off the bat see the difference and when I speak as well they see the light of Christ truly resides in me.

Aside from my personal experience. God calls each and every one of His children to be modest. He knew exactly what he was doing, when he wrote that scripture. He tells us further in the bible that our body was made by him, therefore its His temple so what we wear must be ok with him. What we wear must cover our most intimate parts properly.What we wear must bring honor to Him and should point back to the heavens. Everyday, I include God in my outfit choice.I pray and check in with the spirit. "Is this outfit ok Lord? Is it too tight? Is it too revealing?" God always answers. Personally, I've had to take off somethings, or layer somethings while dressing, to the point my the Holy spirit will say "ok Janet you can leave the house now."

Modesty, is a lost virtue.

I threw out all my jewelry.Even the ones my boyfriend at the time gave me.  I understood what was meant by diamonds are a girls best friend when I would get a piece of jewelry I would never have bought myself. But I just gave my life to Christ  and I was now acknowledging because He died on the cross and gave me salvation, a new life, He was my all. That nothing could ever make me happier than Him.He started to show me,  how He made me was beautiful the way I was, naturally. The hair that grew on my head, the skin and color He gave me, the full lips, and the ears without any piercings, was the way He wanted me to be.  He showed me I was made in His own image.

Genesis 1:27

 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

He later, helped me understand how jewelry, along with anything that is highly esteemed over God, can become an idol. He makes this very known in Exodus 32 , where the Israelite are looking for a god to worship and therefore use jewelry which is presumed to be of high value to make a god. I saw in myself that I was getting way too consumed with the world's marketing on how I should look. That, those pieces of jewelry, or those pieces of weave was what would make me be the woman I ought to be. But rather Jesus made me the woman I was to be when he created me in the womb and when he died on the cross for me. God broke me down, stripped me of the world's idea of beauty and allowed me to own who I was naturally. This act comes with a conviction from God only. As woman, modesty calls us to not be dripping from bling to bling, calling attention to us in that way. Modesty calls us to know our jewels truly come from within and that our adorning of ourselves should come from our hearts. 

When we die, whats going to leave this  earth with us? Our jewelry? No! Nothing except our souls. You are truly beautiful just the way you are. That is modesty.

Modesty is truly a very lost virtue in our generation. God has so many practical tips on what He wants us woman to do in His words. A lot of women are receiving attacks in their academics, work life, spiritual life, marital life, family life, and relationships  due to their immodest apparel, their standard of beauty  that comes from this world, and true lack of peace of the beauty God gave them originally.It's only if we, only if you beautiful sister could see how beautiful and precious you are to God; so you can keep your treasure, your body from your feet to your head well covered. 

Some Really Practical Modesty tips:

1. If you have trouble getting into it or out of it, it is probably not modest.

2.If you have to be careful when you sit down or bend over, it is probably not modest.

3.If people look at any part of your body before looking at your face, it is probably not modest.

4.If you can see your most private body parts or an outline of those parts under the fabric, it is probably not modest.

God cares about what we wear, how we look, and if our all is really  given to Him or partially belongs to this world.

If you don't know Jesus and you are finding yourself stuck in admiring the fashions of this world, you are tired of how the fashion and urban models and pop stars portray themselves, I am inviting you to accept Christ into your heart. You just need to confess your sins, invite Christ in, and believe He is your Lord and savior. Once you start reading the bible, God will give you more knowledge and wisdom as it pertains to modesty. Modesty is a virtue that can truly be regain!

I love you and I am praying for you.

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Share your modesty tips below. Drop a comment <3

From your Sister in Christ ,

Why we WOMAN need protection

Monday June 2nd, 2014

                

Imagine this. You are honored to be married. You conceive and because you are married you have no thoughts of aborting but choose to keep the baby. The baby is full term and ready to come out of the womb.As the baby is coming out through the birth canal and then the vaginal walls it happens to OPEN up it's eyes. The baby will be revealed as to how many men's privates had entered into your vaginal walls. Will the baby be able to say it's just been your husband, her father or will she be confused and witness men from middle school, highschool, and times when maybe you felt ENTITLED to sleep with boys in college and beyond, featured within your vaginal walls?

A lack of protection and wise counsel will and has lead many of us woman to find comfort between our legs and the most intimate parts of our hearts.  

As woman according to God's views of us we are special, queens,far above rubies, fragile and to therefore to be handled with care. God made in place three forms of protection, for us woman to gladly take advantage of, to use, so we are not to be misguided and abused. 

The First of these protections is God through his son Jesus Christ.  I understand some of you reading this already know God and by His grace know him through the Lord Jesus Christ, the ONLY way to Him. But you may not understand what is meant when he seeks to protect us woman. The psalmist David writes in;

Psalm 91:1-2

 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

 I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

Think of God like that guy with open arms that you know gives great heart felt hugs and is there to ward off the jerks that come about in this world; that's how God is and that's what he seeks to be for us woman who choose to yield to him, take upon his ways, and forsake our worldly life, thoughts, and actions. He truly wants to be the guy you talk to on that phone call...to heaven all night long as your refuge... and the guy you spend all weekend with  on that campsite , as your fortress. God the protector that will never gossip about you and in whom you can truly trust. 

How do you get to come to be so intimate with our Almighty God? Even those who have confessed their sins and became Born Again still struggle with feeling close to Him. (I have yet to write a blog on how I spend time with God but I will.) All there is to it is opening up the Holy Scriptures and reading, meditating, and studying them. Learning Gods words for yourself will assure you of how special, worthy, and well respected you are to carry yourself. God will heal you, comfort you,and convict you to run away from those sins like sexual perversion that will not only ruin your life but ruin your one singular body.

1 Corinthians 6:18

18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.

The Second protection we as woman are to have are our fathers and additional brothers that are birthed from your earthly father. Sometimes I have to remind us woman it took two to make us, a man and a woman, a sperm from the father and an egg from the mother. Therefore, although moms have been deemed more maternal towards the children as it even encourages in scriptures, a fathers touch, love, discipline and protection is vital in a woman's life. A Father is to be the second in command to God. After running to God to cry and be joyful with, she is to run to her father and do the same.A father is to be a part of major decisions in her life such as schooling, marriage, moving, courtship and such. As woman we are to provide access in allowing our father to be active in our lives if our fathers aren't actively wanting to be involved. You must understand our fathers are men, and so they  have a manly, unique perspective to this world. It's something we woman will NEVER get, we weren't wired as men, as much as many of us like to claim we can be both men and woman. Truth is we can't. Many fathers I have learned, want to be involved and aren't given the outlets to. When it comes to knowing our self-worth, our fathers help to ward of the cunning men who want to rob us of our dignity, and the men that we are so desperate for that we are only cheating our own-selves as woman. Our fathers are called to pray with us and are called to provide for us, something we are to look for in our future husband. I further expounded on the role of Christian fathers in this blog. As an older brother or younger brother you are second after your father. Your father may not be on instagram, or on the school campus where you and your sisters are. Look out for her, assure her of her beauty and her worth, so other guys in the world won't.

For those that don't have fathers, or have fathers who are inactive, the bible lets us know in

Isaiah 1:17

Learn to do good. Seek justice.Help the oppressed.Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.

James 1:27

 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world

Those who identify as members of the body of Christ as Christians and are a part of the church are to take on those without fathers. So sister you are to find a church home, not find total comfort in your guy friends, courting partner, or whomever. Join a church, get acquainted with the Pastor and the first family, his wife and children. They will be able to pour into you Gods love, which is what you truly need to fulfill your life's calling and purpose and to keep your body under subjection. <3

The Third and last protection God is calling for  woman to have is our husband. I know some will say well not every woman is called to be married. Well that is true but my deepest desire is to see every woman with the desire to marry, get married in the Lord and have this beautiful protection of a husband that's being lead by God and not his own earthly will. In one of my favorite passages in the bible it lets us know, 

For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. (Ephesians 5:23). In Ephesians 5:22 and 24 it further reads Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord; Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. For our husbands to truly be our beautiful protector we must submit to him as his wife. We must respect him. Not doing this makes his protection null and void and you will feel confused and misused. There is no way around it. In this same chapter the Lord commands the husbands to love and cherish us, so in our submission to them we are able to enjoy his admonition. In that we draw strength, feel appreciated, loved, and are able to live this singular life in peace and hope till we go to heaven. It's such a beautiful protection and my prayer is for every sister to enjoy it and or continue to enjoy it if already married.

Yes we woman are strong, we are able to be independent, smart, witty, and God knows this, He made us. We misunderstand our worth and the strength and powers we have can be used for good or for harm. We are seriously princess and queens in God's eyes and that why he has these protections in place to ensure we live the BEST LIFE.

For those who may have never heard of these protections or of the Lord Jesus Christ, today is your day to be able to receive him newly into your heart, or rededicate your life to him. Jesus did not come to win more of the already saved and righteous, but for sinners. Woman who have already  slept with multiple men when He wants and has called us to keep our bodies for our husband; Or woman with anger, drunkenness or whatever. If you also don't feel beautiful or worthy God wants to be your covering and wants to pour lovely thoughts in your ears. All you have to do is confess all your sins and wrong doings and say through your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus Christ is Lord, pick up the bible and walk in your victory. Congratulations and welcome into the kingdom of God!

In lieu of writing and starting a series entitled "What habits  do you support" that I know will really bless you all as much as it blessed me in hearing and writing what the Lord showed to me; I was lead to speak on the protection we woman need. I pray you were able to learn from this.

Thank you for reading! Please Share. God bless you!

Lets Connect on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram 

From your Sister in Christ ,

Janet Adeola Songonuga

WOMEN IN THE AFRICAN SOCIETY & WOMAN IN AMERICA

Another Government & Public Service Post..YAY

   Wednesday August 7th, 2013

I pray whom ever is reading this is having a blessed day today! 

This will be a two part blog:

I made a personal goal to not only read the entire bible this summer but to also go to more political centered events I would be interested in. I have been wanting to blog about a phenomenal program I attended by US-Africa Synergy a little whiles ago, June 25th,2013 to be exact. The event was entitled Women in the African Society- Challenges & Perspectives. So I will endeavor to tell you all about the happenings of this program and the great people and one person I met that's really helping me grow in faith which was held at the Nigerian Mission in New York City.

In addition I will center this blog about women and their role in the world, specifically as a Christian woman by discussing the 3 part PBS Documentary entitled the Makers (which you can click and watch before you read my responses about it)

Let's get into this, Part 1:

On June 25th, 2013, US-Africa Synergy, a non-profit which seeks to engage the African Diaspora in the sustainable transforming of Africa and empowering African youths, held a program in celebration of the 50th Anniversary of the African Union. All guest speakers and invitees including me sought to examine our roles as daughters, sisters, wives and mothers and look back on the changes brought by the historical Solemn Declaration on Gender Equality in Africa adopted in July 2004. This Declaration was the African Leadership’s attempt to promote gender equality and to empower women in Africa. However a decade later, data shows very little has been made to improve the social and professional stature of women in African and the African Diaspora. That evening we all sought to  examine the reasons of a halt on change for women in Africa through factors such as gender role, culture and education. 

So basically I personally wanted to go to meet one particular speaker at the event Yetunde A. Odugbesan-Omede. God is so faithful because I actually met her on the train station in NJ, waiting for the train to NY and here she comes gracefully walking up. We ended up chatting the whole way there and now she is one of the best Mentors/friends I have ever had in my life. I'll express her contributions to the event in question further on. 

So the event's structure first included a panel of four speakers, who spoke about their suggested changes for woman in Africa through gender roles, culture, and education. The speakers were:

(Dr. Bola Omotosho-  Medical Doctor & 16th District City Council Candidate)

(Dr. Josephine Ojiambo, Former UN Deputy Ambassador of Kenya)

(Ms. Mpule kwelagobe- Miss Universe 1999)

(Mrs. Yetunde A. Odugbesan-Omede, CEO & Founder Yetunde Global Consulting, LLC)

Comments that resonated with me on seeing women improve in Africa and beyond is :

• For women to know their strength.
• For marriage to be an option when they are ready but not forced. 
• For domestic violence to addressed in countries in Africa that have yet to clearly discuss it in the political arena. 
• Women are strong holders of a community and home. If the women lack, the entire community and her home lacks.
• Yetunde especially mentioned each and every woman has a talent, must realize their talent, and start putting their talent to work!

After this first panel, there was another panel discussion with students. This was great because it opened up questions about the modern woman. How woman in this generation want to be taken seriously but dress scandalously, get drunk on weekends, and rudely talk among their own circles and outside. All this need to stop and we must do better. Comments were made about faith including the Christian faith whom say woman are weaker vessels. Yes the bible does state that in 1st Timothy but when it's used in the right context it explains woman are delicate beings, to be handled with care. God, did make woman in his image so woman are very strong as well! The event empowered us young woman to take control of our destiny and know we are strongly needed to make an impact in our world. 

Yetunde has a really great blog that encourages all, woman and men to put their best forward here: Putting your best forward . She also started a really great organization to help woman enter womanhood and realize their destiny, check it out here : Young Woman Guide 

Part 2:

In continuing to know about the happenings and improvements we need to make as women, I would like to share with you all an awesome Documentary PBS did. PBS created a 3 part series entitled Makers. It basically goes through woman's role in America from the 1960's where women went to college but were expected to remain homemakers up until the roles women play in present day. 

I will like to share my reaction after watching all 3: 

Part 3 in particular clearly shows my generation, that being a power woman holding a great career and being a great mom can be difficult. As a Christian woman it reaffirms that God is calling me to still be a great mother and a help meet to my husband, but as were great woman in the bible who made great change like Deborah and Easter, God will provide me with the education and income to also support my family during the times in my lifetime I am needed. But also in the 3rd part they explain the push for fathers to brake the role of not playing a bigger part in raising children within the home as per spending time. This is seen very highly in African homes, I am not excluded, anyway it's another reason why I love my faith because men are expected to do as much as the wife is to do in the relationship. 

Women I would love to hear your comments after you've watched Makers and about the first part of the blog. Let's start a dialogue and conversation here.

(At my Monday Night Youth Bible study:Occupy Earth)

BONUS: Amos Johnson an amazing man that encourages Kingdom Business to grow and prevail. He just did an amazing podcast on the question: Should the wife be the provider for the family?The  You can watch it here: Wives, it is not your responsibility to provide for the family 

Lets Connect on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram 

From your Sister in Christ with a Servants Heart,

Janet Adeola Songonuga

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